| i love linus
he amazes me
i love mathew to...
he amazes me also |
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| fuck olathe east bitches
im so tired that i dont think i even spelt bitches right...actually im sure of it.
camping next weekend....you wana come? fuckin call me ya whore
i love you |
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| hey im actually happy guys! i appoligize to those of you who read my entry and than saw my picture...and got very scared... i promise that im not going to beat anyone up, and im not deppressed...
i love you all still for everything that you said...it means a lot to me. boys are dumb and they are that way until... they dont feel the need to "go get fucked up"...
Tonight...will be amazing i just know it
call me 231-9656
love |
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| As i read my last entry all i can think is how pathetic i sound. That boy i was talking about is a jerk... and yes i was hurt for a little while... but hes just like every high school boy... he dosent think outside his own little world...hes self centered and immature. I knew before i went into that relationship that he wasnt for me... especially when he told me "i dont have intelligent conversations" he really dosent... i knew that i was expecting way to much out of him... he wasnt capable of giving me what i know i deserve...
he did me a favor... he helped teach me to trust my first instincts.. they are always right. it sucks to know that the entire time that we were together that he and all of the friends that i met at my knew school were keeping the fact that he had been cheating on me a secret from me... everyone knew that he was lieing to me when he told me how different our relationship was compared to his past once... when he told me how much he cared about me and how he wouldnt hurt me... it was all a lie...
i now know that i dont have to have a boy... actually i really dont want one.. i no longer will let boys walk all over me... its my turn now to brake hearts right...
things will be different... i have had my fill of stupid highschool boys.. whoose egos are bigger than their hearts... and i have had my fill stupid olathe east girls... when i asked one of the girls that rick cheated on my with, why she hadnt said anything...(by the way he cheated on me with her... and than the girl led me to believe she and i were friends... we talked about things i normally wouldnt open up and talk about) when i asked her why she simply said "they would have beat me up, you need to get over it..." fuck her...stupid bitch all i have to say is KARMA BITCH!
Rick is now dating the other girl he cheated on me with... at first it really hurt to see him with her... knowing that they were doing this when i thought me and rick were okay... i even talked with both girls and told them that i was okay, that i didnt hold gruges...and that i was over it... but they still have the nerve to say so much about me... the bitch thats dating rick told me i was getting psycho... because i was still talking to all of them even after that all happend... now i know that was stupid on my part.. i should have stood up for myself... but PSYCHO ohhhh they havent even seen me psycho yet... if they want to fuck with me ONE more time... than they will know what the meaning of PSYCHO really is...
i did figure out though that the girl ricks dating wants to fight me... wich i think is really funny.. because the reason i found out that she wants to fight me is becaue she thinks i want to get back with rick... FUCK NO... but that just means that i could if i wanted to... and that alone is enough for me...
DONT TALK TO ANY FEMALES FROM OLATHE EAST... they are all dumb sluts....
love |
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| i hate feeling like bad things happen and there is nothing i can do... i want so much for things to go back to the way it used to be... i feel like my world is falling apart right in front of me and all i know how to do is watch it happen...
whenever i let myself go...it is thrown back into my face...
you promised not to hurt me...
you said we were different.
how did you live with yourself every time that you kissed me like i was the only one in the world you cared about... and than know in the back of your mind that i hadnt been the only one in the world you were thinking about...
you warmed my heart... you were my breathe of fresh air....
it was like i had been sufficating for so long and than you let me up to breathe...just to push me back under...
what we call human nature in actuality is human habit...
i thought maybe i was enough ....
now you leave me absolutely clueless and crushed
i told myself i would never be anyones ego boost ever again.... and the first chance i got i let you walk allover my heart, rip it out, and stomp it out like it was nothing but a ciggerette that you enjoyed for a moment but you toss away and forget about |
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